1) Find something to celebrate. Anything. Birthday. New job. Getting all your laundry done. Roommate getting an internship in the 11th hour.
2) Remember that you have a roll of Pillsbury biscuits in the back of the fridge (oh dear, I hope they aren't frozen) even though you never usually buy that junk. Take them out. Pop the roll with joyous noise, and lay out all the biscuits.
3) Hope that you have a quart of canola oil. (You do! Yes! More to celebrate!) Search frantically for something round and small enough to make holes in the biscuits so that they look like doughnuts. Try all sorts of glasses, and then, cleverly, try a shot glass. It works perfectly. Remind yourself to have a shot of bourbon later in thanksgiving for the kind service of the shot glass.
4) Use shot glass to cut out holes in the biscuits. lay them all out on on big cutting board. Pour canola oil into a large stockpot, and heat at medium high.
5) Prepare bowls for your toppings: we used vanilla infused powdered sugar in one bowl and a cinnamon, sugar, and cardamom mixture in the other. Prepare one plate with a paper-towel to catch the oil and another plate for the finished doughnuts.
6) Pop open a bottle of champagne, pour into four glasses, toast to the cause of the celebrations. Marvel at the delicacy of the champagne and thank your roommate for having bought it and saved it for a special occasion.
7) When you're halfway done with your glass (but, lets face it, its really good champagne and you drink it quickly), the oil should be hot enough to fry the doughnuts. You want it nice and hot, so that each side takes about 10-12 seconds to fry. I have no idea how hot that would be so you'll just have to pop one of the doughnut holes into the oil to test it. Fry the doughnuts two at a time (no more: you don't want them to touch in the pan).
8) Quickly dunk the doughnuts into the topping of your choosing, and pile on a plate.
9) Pour more champagne. Eat all the doughnuts. And don't forget about that shot of bourbon, too.